so, tomorrow is the 4th of july! last year, i was on josh`s rooftop with him just watching the fireworks. it was really romantic. kinda scary at first. i had hoped to do it again this year. ya know, it being my last day of seeing him and all, tomorrow. i`m going to Illinois july 5th for a month. i`ll be back august 5th, right before my birthday (on the 18th). i`m gonna miss him so  terribly. i miss josh right now! even though i seen him 2 days ago. lonnie wants to go out to see some fireworks and then this little party afterwards. which, i really do wanna see lonnie before i leave, but i was hoping we`d hang out today, instead...

the good friend side of me is like, "yeahhh lets party!" and the anti-social only wanna be with my boyfriend side of me is like, "ughh i wanted to make this last day special only with josh on his rooftop again". i guess i`m not so good of a friend at times. if you ask me who i`d really want to spend time with- boyfriend or best friend? i`d say boyfriend... because to me, josh is my best friend.

it`s like with him, i`m COMPLETELY myself. i feel like i`m always trying to impress my friends. like, i always have to make them happy. if i don`t do what they want me to do, i`m the bad person. with josh, it`s like, if i`m fucking lazy, ima plop my happy ass on his bed and he`s gonna hang out with me there. xD which he doesn`t mind- he`s just like me! hehe

so yes, going to IL again which i have mixed feelings about. it`s always great seeing old friends. we change SO much after only a year. already told my dad that i only eat certain foods and so he got them, so i`m happy about that. i probably won`t be able to excersize as much as i do here. i`m dreding the fact that i might have to share a room with my brother. *god i hope not* looking forward to seeing my dad again! it`s not too big of a deal, but he always seems happy to see me and my bro =) looking forward to Six Flags! and the new batman movie coming out! omgggg so excited about that. it`s gonna be the next Transformers, if not more popular

this would be my room =) an otaku`s paradise =P

we`re going to see the Blue Man Group

hotel room

our view from the hotel ^_^ beautiful~~~

i never seem to pay attention to the pretty palm trees we
have until i see them in photos

discusting isn`t it? fat fat faaat
*i post this picture as a reminder to keep up the diet*
i haven`t bailed on my diet yet and it`s been over a month
hopefully someday this year i can have beautiful skinnier legs

me with my friend and the Blue Man Group`s band ^_^

i love my completely vacant expression xD
Osaka-san for the win hahaha

i want a real arcade dance game like this in my house!!

i love racing games =D except nascar boooooo

■summer break to-do list■
1. get another job
2. disney land with the gang
3. read harry potter 6 & 7
4. finish my story
5. continue japanese study
6. continue diet
7. buy new ddr or dance game
8. work on website

i❤FINAL FANTASY
love love love

❀F R A N❀

❀A S H E❀

the viera aka bunny people are HAWT
Fran is my favorite character ★
the story line can be quite complicated
but so detailed and incredibly impressive
FFXII is superior to FFX even 
:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:
with a new job at hand this summer, i plan on catching up on my shopping
there`s a lot of things i need want but cannot buy

only 3 more days of having to wake up early! i`m crying buckets of tears, lmao (not really). monday & tuesday are my last exam days next week and they are half days. thursday is senior check out day! gosh i can`t believe it`s finally over. unless of course i didn`t pass Al 2, in which case, i won`t graduate then. -_- but considering all the extra credit i did and shit, if my teach had any heart, she`d pass me.

okay so the prom itself was hella lame
(it was tiny & boring!!)
but just dressing up for prom and seeing my sexy boyfriend in a suit was wonderful!
and after we left prom, we went to the midway to have some real fun ^.^
he won like a zillion stuffed animals... he`s really good at those games... o.O

prom is this saturday!! wheeee
all my plans have been set
saturday i`m getting my hair done @ 1

my grade chem. are pretty great
chem. i have a B!! i`m so excited
but as for al 2, i`m not so sure 
that`s where i need my B
i`m scared... very scared

it`s annoying i just want to forget about it because prom is going to be so amazing but all i keep thinking about is "will i graduate???" i wish al 2 wasn`t required... i feel stupid. i`m trying really hard in that class but i just can`t do math. somehow i think maybe everything will work out in the end. i mean even if i worse comes to worse, i`ll still figure out what to do with myself, won`t i?

also, i been dieting^.^ eating a lot less, but i do wish there were modivation in my house for excersize. i need a machine. i can`t just sit in my room and start doing sit-ups. i actually tried a couple days ago. i`m so unfit i haven`t excersized since i had to in PE my sophomore or junior year. i could hardly push myself up trying to do sit-ups, i`m not very strong. so i`m just eating less for now. is it working? i can tell a little but i`m far from where i want to be. 

however, i do walk from school to home everyday which takes me about an hour, so that should count for something. at least i have a little movement in my day besides walking from class to class. the benefit of working at a theater was they hauled our asses! it was tiring but i kinda wish i still had that job. 

i need money too! badly lol

so my graduation is in jepordy
3rd quarter - 56% F
4th quarter - currently 75% C
(hoping to raise that to a B so i don`t have to worry about finals)
finals - i`m sure i`ll bomb it (always do)

had i KNOWN algebra II was required, i would have never slacked off 3rd quarter. i have all my math credits i require, i have all my credits required in general, and i have all my profiency tests passed. even though i have 3 credits for math class, apparently i still had to get one of those credits from algebra II. that is such bull. you know how sad it would be to not graduate high school after all the effort i put in of passing everything else? so now i have to panic again. i  thought i could finally rest easy after passing my math profiency which you need to do in order to get your deploma. now i have to be nervous about every little point. getting a B in algebra II is a mirical... a man having a baby is more likely... furthermore, if i don`t get a B for 4th quarter, i have to get like at least a high F on finals... i wish i knew the details so i could see how hard i need to push myself and what`s the lowest i can get on my final.

3rd quarter - 40% of final grade
4th quarter - 40% of final grade
final exam - 20% of final grade

so lets say my 4th quarter grade stays at 75%
so to guess-timate,

3rd quarter - 56%
4th quarter - 75%
final - 10%

i dunno exactly how bad i do on finals, but i`m preparing for the worst with a 10%

does anyone know how i would average these 3 number together to get my final score? i`m horrible at math obviously >.< but i really really want to know what the outcome will be. please someone help.

friday i watched The Forbidden Kingdom with john and lonnie
 
bingbing li`s hair was so beautiful even if it was just a wig.
this picture does no justice but it was the only one i could find of her from the movie

we went back to john`s place where we played smash with him and his bro matt
got some panda express and then played some GTA
i was supposed to go to josh`s instead of john`s but... we got in a fight after the movie

saturday, i went to lonnie`s house and we did another photo shoot
i finally got to see the pictures from the first one. there were only a couple i liked
i think this second one will be really cute because i did my hair and curled it

sunday i was just pissed off at first. josh kept calling me and texting
i finally answered "what do you want"
and it went from there
he stoped texting me so i thought he was finally done but then my doorbell rang lol
it was him^^ i was really skeptical but we made up eventually
and i went back to his house and i actually had a lot of fun

after having a rough start yesterday, i got to spend some time with lonnie and everyone at josh`s house. it`s always really akward after we all played video games together because then josh goes to his room and everyone just kinda separates into josh`s or robbi`s room. me with josh and lonnie with robbi. but lonnie and robbi are only friends so... i feel bad for ditching lonnie for my boyfriend. it`s really hard to tell what`s on her mind sometimes but really easy to tell when she`s upset just like me. 

me and josh eventually started talking about prom. i can`t wait!  he told me if i don`t get a job in time to pay for everything, he`d buy my dress... i`m so happy and relived. i was begining to think i wouldn`t be able to go. i did turn in my application (finally) to kohl`s and i`m praying i get the job. i really don`t want josh paying for my dress. omg josh in a suit!!!! ( >3< )/// soooo adorible

anyhow, 12am comes along and lonnie is ready to drop me off and go home. she seems really upset or angry about something. i was trying to say my goodbyes to josh because i cry every time i have to leave him, but lonnie was looking really impatient and upset. i wonder what was up and she walks off to the kitchen. i tear up and tell josh how stupid i am i shouldn`t be crying like this because i`d be seeing him in like a couple days again. 

he tells me it`s okay baby it`s okay and tells me the greatest news ever!! his mom was actually considering letting me live with them after i graduate. i`m sooo incredibly happy i was so sure there was no more hope for that and his mom didn`t approve. but she told josh that after i graduate she`s gonna let me spend a weekend over at their house and see how things go hehehe <3333 i still have hope!

anyway, i say my goodbyes and get back to reality. something was wrong with lonnie. i thought it was all my fault and i was really frustrated because i didn`t know what to do... i saw a tear on her cheek in the car but she was just talking to be normally like nothing was wrong. it was really stupid but i started crying and got all emotional lol. i explained why i was crying she started crying for a minute and told me she wasn`t upset at me she was upset at robbi. he`s really a doushe bag sometimes -.-; all he did was play on his computer the whole like 5 hours she was in his room. he always does this! great guy sometimes, but increadibly stupid and oblivious of other people`s feelings.

lol i cried for nothing but i just didn`t want to be a bad friend. lonnie is the only best friend i have out here in nevada and i`m not gonna mess that up. =)